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Filed under Transportation

You might know this: cab drivers in Bucharest won’t let you wear your seatbelt. The second they smell your intention to reach for the buckle, they go “hey, you don’t need that”. A logical person may ask “hmm yeah but isn’t it illegal to drive around without it?” I’ve tried this a number of times and the answer is always “not in a taxi”. Now my first question is: when was this amendment voted? I mean, I know we have many senators with cab driver brains, but still, is this official?

I’m writing this because last night I had to take a cab and choice was very limited, so my ride had this ugly, old weirdo gipsy driver. When I pulled the seatbelt, he just grabbed my hand, and with a whiny voice started complaining about how everybody insists on the stupid belt. I did manage to fasten it, though, and ignored the guy’s desperate grabs and complaints. Still it felt pretty disgusting.

Very often you get into the cab and pull the belt, only to discover that you have no socket to stick it into: the driver has sawn it off. You can almost see the inner grin of the cabbie, happy there beside you, while his miniature brain goes “YeeeHaaaa - Gotcha!!! No tengo belt, bwaahahahahhaa!!!” These are the guys who watch Pimp My Ride, and actually take it to the next level. They know the trade: they are the tuning gurus. So while they’re at it glueing playoboy cutouts onto the dashboard and hanging huge fluffy dice above the steering wheel, they grab a saw and remove the seatbelt buckles. Nothing says ‘courage’ better than this. Needless to say I have to see ONE driver who actually wears his seatbelt.

Apparently cabs in Bucharest must be the safest way to travel. It’s like you enter the fluffy bubble of indestructable security, where you float to your destination in a glowing sphere of joy, to the rhythm of whatever music the cabbie is playing. The genre is easy to guess, it’s the one that makes your navel go wild.

Now. Statistical evidence has proven the importance of seatbelts more than I could begin to emphasize here. So I’ll just try and guess what reasons are floating in these guys’ minds:

a) Seatbelts are culturally flawed: they symbolize constraint and imprisonment. Wearing one is the equivalent of promoting slavery.
b) Seatbelts are an insult: if you are afraid of a crash, you’re basically calling your driver an incompetent rookie.
c) One word: Omen. You wear it, you attract the bad spirits, and bad things will happen, that are in no way the driver’s fault. Note: this does not conflict with the previous reason, because these bad things only include pianos falling from skyscrapers, meteors, terrorist attacks and stampedes. Never other vehicles, because your driver is too competent to be crushed by beginners.
d) Fashion, baby! That belt is covering my new Fubu teesh!
e) Confort. As a driver, I like to make sudden movements with my thorax, which trigger the belt to freeze. I must have my freedom of sudden movements. It’s the cabbie manifesto. And all those who enter my cab must have this freedom. It’s a political thing.
or
f) Speed. If my passenger wears his seatbelt, it will take him extra seconds to get off when I stop in the middle of the road, blocking everybody else. This will cause everyone to start honking and cursing. And I wouldn’t mind, but this can become pretty annoying when it happens every 15 minutes, every day. The alternative would be for me to stop only when I’m not blocking everyone else, and to use the turn signal sometimes, too. Unacceptable.

Posted by eugen_erhan on Tuesday, November 14th, 2006


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